2018 marked my 10 year anniversary on YouTube. In 10 years I gathered almost 500k subscribers and an average of between 1 and 2 million views per month, which are distributed across my videos very unevenly. As incredible as those numbers are, they are also numbers that can be acquired in a matter of weeks or months nowadays. There’s a part of me that gets a bit frustrated at times, seeing how quickly some others grow on the platform while I’m “staying behind”. There’s also a part of me that appreciates how special it is that I’m still around and growing after all these years. And when I think of it, all of me is really quite happy to be a smaller creator.
Community
Perhaps my favourite thing about being a smaller creator is having a small, intentional audience. I feel like most people who watch my videos regularly come to my channel because they enjoy my content and feel some kind of connection with me. Seeing usernames return in the comments time and time again brings me a lot of joy and you have no idea how much I value the intelligent, respectful conversations and discussions that happen under my videos. Whenever one of my videos blows up and attracts a bunch of new viewers, I always appreciate my own little audience that much more. Getting the general public’s attention inevitably leads to people hate watching your videos (clicking on something they know will annoy them just because they need/like to vent), people misjudging your character based on a first impression, the strangest comments… A viral(ish) video every now and then is necessary to grow in this field nowadays, but it’s a bit of a struggle for me every time as it ruins the positive vibes that usually exist on my channel. I just really enjoy knowing I have a little community of people watching my videos who “get” me and actually want to be part of it. From what I see when I watch other YouTubers and what I’ve experienced myself I’d say the bigger the audience, the more negative the tone of the comment section gets. That’s just not something I handle very well, haha!
Fame
One of the oddest things about my job has turned out to also be one of the best. I live in the Netherlands, but nearly all of my audience is located in other countries throughout world. This allows me to get enough views to be able to sustain myself doing what I enjoy most without automatically becoming a famous person or public figure, which is something I honestly kind of dread. Earlier this year I found out, to my great surprise, that I’m among the 10 biggest female YouTubers in the Netherlands. Yet, bluntly put, nobody over here really knows I exist. I dodged the bullet of press caring about what I do, people following me on the street, and feeling like I’m always being watched.
I am very glad I’m not famous. Strangely enough, even as a young child, preforming arts and jobs that put you in a bit of a spotlight have always appealed to me, but I’ve never wanted the actual spotlight. Being succesful in a creative job without having all the downsides of fame is honestly my ideal situation and I can hardly believe I actually made it there. I can’t imagine what it must be like to not be able to go grocery shopping, take a quick walk in the park, or even sit in the doctor’s waiting room without somebody (or worse: everybody) knowing who you are. We’re getting to an age where some online creators have reached that level of stardom and I’m grateful every day that I’m not one of them. Now don’t get me wrong, I love meeting viewers “in the wild” every now and then and by all means if you spot me come say hi, I’m just glad it’s not a daily occurrence that affects normal life :)
Pressure
As a creator who doesn’t really appeal to the masses, there isn’t as much pressure on me to “stay relevant”. I don’t have to worry as much about staying on top of trends and doing whatever’s popular at that moment. Of course I need to know what’s happening and act upon it appropriately least a little bit to attract new viewers, but I feel like people come to my channel for a very specific thing which is always there and not just a fad. The content that gets the most positive response on my channel is always the unique stuff. I feel like with the way YouTube is now, a large degree of creative freedom is the privilege of only the giant and the small, who either don’t have millions of subscribers and large brand deals to lose, or can afford to lose them. I’m lucky that I can do my thing and my peeps are happy to watch, whatever my thing might be at that moment.
Working in social media, it’s really easy to get caught up in the numbers. They do have a certain importance of course, but it’s true what they say: engagement is much more valuable, both literally and figuratively. I’m very happy and feel very lucky to be where I am today, and it’s all thanks to you. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being here!
I’ve been following you for almost 7 years, I don’t comment much, probably because I’m quite a private person myself, but I watch all your videos and read all your blog posts.
I feel like you deserve more views, but at the same time, I get what you’re saying with the exposure and the negativity. I actually read the other day the comment section on your first video about trying out the curly girl method and… wow! The internet really is a place to vent for some people. Some people don’t even watch the videos all the way through before posting negative comments.
Anyway, keep up the good work!
This is exactly what I like about your channel as well. I have watched some of the ‘big names’ in YouTube world from the very start, but as I grew up I outgrew them – I just cannot relate to ‘fun’ challenges and endless make up hauls anymore. Your channel stayed ‘normal’, however, and I am glad it did; I have been watching your content for years now and it never gets old. I like to watch content created by smaller creators like yourself, as they are usually much more relatable and interesting to me (and what’s the fun in watching someone spend thousands and thousands of pounds on clothes they won’t wear and make up they won’t use?). Congrats on reaching 500k, however – should the numbers ever start dropping or not grow as fast as you want them to, just remind yourself that it’s just a number. Truly.
PS: ik kan de documentaire ‘Follow Me’ van Nicolaas Veul aanraden. Hij gaat niet over YouTube maar over Instagram, en het was voor mij echt een eye-opener!
Yes, I love being a ultra tiny creator here myself. I would not want to be famous because of all the negativity surrounding “fame”.
So happy to hear you are at a good place in your career. May it get even better for you in 2019 :-) I can definitely confirm that I have been watching and following your work for almost 7 years because of many of the reasons you wrote about. I think a large part of your success has to do with your self-awareness. I just enjoy watching whatever it is you are doing, and I trust you will always have good stuff in store for me as a viewer. Thanks for all the fun over the years!