Over the course of writing on this blog, I’ve mentioned my struggle with PMS a couple of times already. In fact, a hope for lessening the symptoms was one of the biggest reasons for me to go off hormonal contraception. Unfortunately going off hormones didn’t have the desired effect in that regard: every single cycle, my impeding period is announced by varying degrees of premenstrual syndrome. My symptoms vary slightly from month to month, but recurring themes for me are total loss of control over my emotions, extreme irritability, sensitivity to sound, mood swings and often a complete inability to focus on or find motivation to do my daily or work related tasks. Small issues can suddenly seem huge, overwhelming, and unsolvable to me, where they normally wouldn’t pose a problem at all. Even though I’m prone to being a bit emotional all the time, “angry” isn’t a word I’d normally use to describe myself at all outside of these few days. It’s an emotion I’m only really familiar with in the context of PMS and find very uncomfortable. Depending on how severe it gets, I’ve found my PMS can be quite debilitating and honestly, put a strain on my otherwise very happy and healthy relationship. This doesn’t surprise me at all though as I find myself quite hard to be around during PMS; I can only imagine what it must be like for my poor boyfriend, especially now that we live together and he gets the full blow of it. I end up blaming myself for any tension that arises, which obviously doesn’t help make me feel better.
So far I haven’t found any way to make the PMS stop or go away, and in researching I’ve found that taking the pill or antidepressants are likely the only effective treatments. I’m not willing to go there as of yet, but luckily I have developed some coping methods over the past years that help get me (and my partner) through the “monster mode days”, as we call them.
Warnings
This is the most important thing for me- letting the people around me know the time has come again, and to not take anything I say too seriously. Back when my period was regulated, my boyfriend would mark down the week before in his calendar with a dragon emoji, haha! Knowing it’s not his fault that I’m all over the place is reassuring and helps him take it more lightly. Also acknowledging that something out of my control is going on myself, helps me be more mindful of my behaviour.
Exercise & Fresh Air
Stepping into clichés here, but a cliché wouldn’t be a cliché if there wasn’t truth to it. When I’m about to explode with rage, putting on a pair of running shoes and going for a run, a brisk walk or a cycle around the city is just what I need to re-direct that energy. A change of scenery and physical exercise often helps snap me out of it and get the happy hormones flowing. It also makes me feel like I’ve done at least one good and productive thing that day, which I often struggle with during this time of month.
No Caffeine
The last thing I need when I’m PMS-y, is something to make me feel even more on edge. Coffee is never a very good idea for me as it tends to make me feel jitterish and anxious, but around this time I avoid coke and black tea as well. Calming herbal tea is the way to go.
Healthy Food & Treats
Eating healthy food makes me feel good, not only physically, but mentally as well. It comes back down to the whole feeling like I did something good and productive that day thing. However, during PMS week I get really intense cravings and completely denying myself those foods doesn’t help my mood much. I do allow myself to indulge to a certain degree, and then “compensate” by eating lots of veggies and fruit as well. I feel like this is a good balance for me!
Supplements & Vitamins
I’ve read some people get good results with regulating PSM symptoms by using certain vitamins and herbal supplements. I’ve personally been using both st. John’s wort and magnesium for a while, but have to admit I haven’t experienced much of a difference during PMS so far. I also have to admit I’ve been taking less than the recommended dose, so I might just experiment with this a bit more. I’ve also heard good things about evening primrose oil, but have no experience with that myself.
Do you experience PMS? How does it affect your life and how do you deal with it?
Hey loepsie 😊
Well i struggle pms ALOT. And my boyfriends struggles even more. I get so angry mad and crazy hahaha. And also i suffer from so much pain that even sometimes i consider going to the doctor. But sometimes it differs you know sometimes its calmer sometimes louder. I usually just sit all day and watch netflix. Also i avoid having heavy conversations with my boyfriend haha. If you find a way to ease all that monster mode please let us know :D
Oh wow..this brings back memories. All I can say to you is it will eventually go away all together, and before it does, it will change the way it manifests–because your hormones are changing. Right now you are at your peak fertility and so the hormones are raging. I am 47 now but the horrible, miserable, emotional PMS ended by the time I was 30. The food cravings stuck around until about 35 though. But for now–in all honestly–yoga is probably one of the best things you can do for relief because it has an “releasing” effect on the body as well as the emotions. Hang in there! You’re exactly where you should be even though it doesn’t feel like it..
Hi!
Have you heard of PMDD before? It’s a much more severe version of PMS. I’ve been dealing with it for about 10 years, and I had to go on the pill at a young age (I’m 26 now). I tried going off but my body freaked out so I’ve had to go back on. I get severely angry and irritable too. I understand what you mean by having it offset your relationship a bit. For me, since I know it’s just my hormones talking, I’ll rationalize my thoughts in my head and tell myself that I’m just overthinking things and I’ll have a better/clearer perspective in a couple of days.
Perhaps you could look into it and see if your symptoms align with it.
I recently read about using vitamin by, it was in this article http://www.brummymummyof2.co.uk/2018/05/i-can-finally-breathe.html if you want to have a look at it. :)
I am sorry to hear about your ongoing struggles with PMS. Many of your ways of dealing with it seem good. :)
I don’t know if you have tried, or would consider, doing meditation. Many people say they don’t have the time, or believe it won’t work; but with practice, it can help tremendously. With time it will bring you deeper mind control (even over PMS moods) and calm.
Remember, a person cannot be truly happy unless their mind is at peace.
I wish you the best, now and always. :)
Take care.
Hey Lucy :) great post – I definitely share this one with you!
I tried Evening Primrose Oil for a bit because I heard it helped with hormone-related acne/skin issues (which I also get). I didn’t noticed any difference in skin or mood to be honest, BUT I did use it while I was still taking the pill, so that could completely have counteracted anything I was trying to achieve with it. I found it cheap and didn’t have any negative side effects though :)
Thanks for your honesty in this blog. I am around 39 and have had my share of pms during the years. I have tried different foods/vitamins etc in the past and didn’t have much change in the PMS. But what I would say from my experience is ‘self love’ is important at this time. Meaning, being super kind to yourself, giving yourself what you might need, eg a slower schedule around this time with less stress. I also found that if I had any underlying issues to do with the people who are around me, then this would all come out too, in explosive moods. I learnt that I needed to be fair to myself, especially in areas where it involved my partner. Sometimes it’s like it’s out of balance, in my case, it was being fair to everybody else, except for me. So what I have found to work is to be super kind to yourself. I remember doing the diary thing by telling myself to watch out at this time and indirectly I was telling myself to make sure I control my outbursts. But this didn’t help, it made me feel more miserable and it felt like I wasn’t being on my side. You have to be your own best friend. The only thing that helped was making sure that I treated myself as good as I treat everybody else around me. This has helped greatly. I know everyone’s coping methods are different but this was mine! Love your blogs, from Australia.
I have mood swings and irritability at random times during the month. I don’t know why is that, maybe it’s hormonal (I do have polycystic ovaries and some hormonal imbalance) or just random/psychological. All the tips you mentioned work. If I get irrationally angry or sentimental I try to rationalise it and/or stay away from people for some hours. If I get too anxious/worried I seek contact with people, especially ones I know that I can be needy with.
Hi there Lucy,
I started my period yesterday so that means my PMS symptoms are now gone. Now I feel like a bloated gingerbread (wo)man.
Of course I struggle a lot with PMS. During the week before my period starts, my body feels kind of swollen due to the water retention I get. This also includes my boobs and they feel extremely painful, so it makes putting on a bra uncomfortable.
I also get food cravings for all kinds of foods, but mostly sweet stuff. Mostly fresh fruit, lots of water and herbal tea and of course a few treats help me to not eat my entire living space during PMS. NO caffeine is very important, even green tea intensifies my cramps!
My skin gets oily… I started to use a more light moisturizer to deal with that and prevent clogged pores as much as possible. Less oil and more of a gel based one.
And not to forget; the mood swings. I get very easily annoyed and irritated during social interaction. I get upset over little things and tend to cry a lot. A clump mess for pretty much a week. Pretty annoying for me and my social environment.
You described you feelings about your mood during PMS so well, that’s exactly the way I would describe my experience. I always tell the people around me about how I feel, so they understand why I get emotional all of a sudden. It helps a lot!
About a year ago I changed my lifestyle: I eat mostly plant based foods and do lots of outdoor sports. It works good so far, not perfectly. I still get heavy and painful menstrual cramps, but I do get them very rarely now. I have never been on hormonal contraception, but I still have to deal with a rather irregular cycle. Even though I also struggle with PMS, I like this time of the month. Menstruation itself makes me feel kind of grounded and somehow empowered. A little weird to describe it that way, I know.
Remember to treat yourself kindly. It is okay to take things slower as usual. The female body is such a complex masterpiece and we should treat our bodies kind during that change it has to master every few weeks.
*clumsy not clump
Thank you for sharing this and being honest about the difficulties it can wage on a relationship, particularly when living together. I have the same experience. I also get physical discomfort on top of the mental symptoms that you described (very painful cramps and body pain, nausea, vomiting, and bowel issues). It’s a difficult thing. I think all of your points are good. I think physical exercise is #1 for me: walking, or movement of any sort, because as you pointed out, it shakes you free of the negative mental patterns, and it also helps me with the physical pain A LOT. Fresh air and sunshine help too. Drinking water helps. Also, very important to not deny your body its cravings while still maintaining balance.
I just try to make myself as comfortable as possible. Little things. Watch, read, and do things that make me happy, and don’t put any pressure on myself.
Thanks again for this discussion!