For the longest time, the idea of leaving the house without a bra terrified me. It wasn’t an option at all, to be honest. Even inside the house I always prefered to have the ladies nice and strapped in, I was never one of those women who take their bra off as soon as they get home. The primary reason for that: walking around without a bra would hurt. Every step, every little movement I could feel and I found it very uncomfortable. Not to mention walking up and down stairs, ouch.
Second reason: I couldn’t stand the idea of anybody seeing the natural shape of my breasts, let alone my NIPPLES. I would probably die of embarrassment.
Third reason: I associated not wearing a bra with a certain sexual expression. I’ve always been quite prudish, especially in my looks, and the fact that someone could see I’m braless and think I’m trying to be sexy was absolutely unacceptable to me.
At the same time, I’ve always been quite frugal as well. Spending a lot of money on underwear seemed like nonsense to me so for the longest time I’d only wear bras from H&M. At the end of the day, more often than not, I’d have red patches of skin or indents on the side of my breasts. I knew this couldn’t be good but it didn’t bother me much so I accepted it as a fact of life. My breasts naturally grow outwards a bit, so they have to be forcefully pushed into a bra from the sides and that creates indents. Nothing to be done there. (I was wearing the right size by the way, I’ve gotten fitted several times with the same results each time and know what to look for in a well fitting bra. It’s just that there are no outwardly slanted bras, that I know of).
Strappy, strapless or open back clothing was always a struggle. I hate the look of the straps, top or back of a bra showing in clothing that’s obviously not built to accomodate one. However, no bra was no option, so I’d always have parts of my bra showing in those tops and feel silly for it.
A few years back bralettes became a trend and started being readily available in popular clothing stores. I’ve always thoughts bralettes were the prettiest things ever, but I also thought they weren’t for me. I thought my breasts were too big for them, that I needed the support of a wired bra and that bralettes wouldn’t look good with the size and shape of my breasts.
During one of my many mindless YouTube browsings I stumbled upon various videos of girls talking about why they choose to no longer wear a bra, and almost all of them mentioned bralettes as a good transitional item or even as a good alternative to going completely braless for girls with larger breasts. I decided to give it a go.
On my next shopping trip I went looking for a nice bralette that I could start wearing around the house. I worked from home full time at this point and barely left the house at all on most days, so no danger of anyone seeing the shape of my breasts. Cue angelic singing. What a relief! The bralette is so much more comfortable than a wired bra, and guess what? Without the padding, it turns out my breasts aren’t actually that big at all. There has been many a time over the past years when I wished the girls were a few sizes smaller, and apparently the only thing I need to do to achieve that is take off my bra. It’s so obvious I can’t believe I hadn’t realized this before, but better late than never. I fit into tops and dresses again that I couldn’t fit my breasts into any more since they grew another size a few years back, and I like the look of smaller breasts a lot better on myself. Yay!
As I discovered the comfort of wearing bralettes, I found myself reluctant to wear wired bras again. Luckily winter was coming and so was sweater weather. Under layers of thick knits nobody could ever tell whether there’s a bra there or not, so I started wearing my bralettes out as well. I needed a bit of time to get used to the feeling of vulnerability I experienced when out and about without a wired and padded bra, but nothing ever happened. Nobody commented on my boob situation, and I didn’t feel like people were looking at me more than they did before. In fact I felt more confident as I wasn’t worried about my (what I thought were) “larger breasts” attracting attention any more. Come summer, I still didn’t feel like wearing bras again, so I’d try to wear a bralette whenever I could. I still think a wired and/or padded bra looks better under certain tight fitting thin fabrics, such as t-shirts, but under many of my more flowy summery tops I can easily get away with wearing a bralette.
Over the past few summers I’ve even started to venture into going completely braless under the aforementioned strappy or open back tops and dresses (I’ve ditched strapless items entirely: ain’t nobody got time for that). As long as the fabric is thick or sturdy enough, I feel like many pieces actually look much better without anything underneath. I’ve finally come to the point where I don’t feel uncomfortable with not wearing a bra underneath a top that’s meant to be worn without a bra. Progress!
As I choose bralettes or nothing over padded and wired bras more and more often, I’ve noticed my breasts don’t hurt anymore when I move. I can easily walk the stairs now without having to hold them (which I used to do for years, lol) and any other movement that isn’t downright running, jumping or working out is fine. I’ve read that not wearing a bra strengthens your breasts, making them more able to hold themselves up, and that is definitely something I’ve experienced.
Going completely braless is still not something I’m comfortable with doing on a daily basis. Like I mentioned, I’ll happily do it when I’m wearing a nice dress, am dolled up and expecting eyes on me anyway, but on normal days I do still prefer to wear a bralette for a little bit of support and to keep the jiggling at bay, but mostly to not feel so naked and vulnerable. By now my wired bra collection has been culled out to only include a good, basic skin coloured bra to be worn under tighter pieces and on formal occasions and a nicer padded balconette for whenever I do decide to throw my prudishness out the window :) My bralette collection, on the other hand, has grown a lot and currently contains all the bras I need on a daily basis. Oh, I also have a couple of extra supportive sports bras for the aforementioned running and jumping.
Unless your back really needs the support a proper bra offers (which it could, if unlike me you actually have large breats), I highly recommend giving bralettes a try, or to downright dump your bra and go about your day without. You might end up liking it more than you thought.
What’s your current relationship with bras? What types do you wear, if any, and when?
What cup size are you? I’m a B-cup and I don’t know if mine are small enough to go braless, or wear a bralette. Maybe I’m also wearing the wrong type of bra!
I’m a D cup 😉 size doesn’t matter at all, if you ask me. Lots of ladies with even larger cup sizes go braless with no issues!
I think you’re right but it seems like bra sizing is intentionally confusing! I wear a 32B and supposedly most women who wear that size are actually a different size. According to online guides, I’m technically a 28D, but I can’t find that size anywhere…
Ah! I had to convert that but I wear a 34D, been measured as one as well. I’ve heard the cups size down as the band sizes up? Anyway, point is, there’s no such thing as small enough for no bra/bralette imo 😁
Hey :)
I have also stopped wearing wired bras like a year or two ago. Now I only wear sport bras or bralettes, or nothing. I can’t imagine going back to wired, because they are soo uncomfortable!
I also still struggle with the thought of nipples showing, so I can totally relate.
Thank you for posting this! It makes me feel less alone in my no-bra-journey, all the ladies around me sport wired bras ;)
Every woman has to find a way to wear a bra. Or when not to wear a bra. I always use cotton, simple bras at the moment. A bigger cup is better too. I use white and black colors usually. As young I bought white bra in Lindex Norway. I choose cheapest prices. Bralette is fine, so I look for one.
This made me happy to read! Congrats on trying and finding solutions that make you feel comfortable and confident! I just turned 30 and stopped wearing underwire and padded bras around 21-22. I’ve got small/medium sized breasts to my pretty petite figure I suppose, and it took me a while to feel comfortable with the natural shape of my breasts and sometimes showing nipples through some shirts. With time I realised that I needed to reprogram things I’ve been tought about what breasts ”should” look like. I’ve also had a hard time with feeling sexualised when not wearing a bra, but got over it after a while. No one really cares, if someone does it’s really their problem. I’m just a person and deserve to feel comfortable in my own skin, no matter what I choose to wear. Keep up the good work, Lucy, I really enjoy taking part in your life and thoughts from afar! :)
I only wear bralettes or training bras (even though I’m 20 lol), or just those camisoles from Forever 21. When I’m at dance, I don’t wear any with my leotard. I’m a very tiny person with a very small chest, so they don’t even carry my bra size here in the states, nor would my stomach appreciate the wire with my GI issues. If you are worried stuff will show through but don’t want to wear a bra, try a camisole if you are wearing something that isn’t tight fitted.
You look great no matter what! I love your style. Oh yes! Relationships with bras can be tricky. I am a small person, with slightly larger than average size breasts (they look even bigger on me because I am small). I won’t/don’t go without a bra, ever, except at night while sleeping. I wear underwire bras only, and have never worn padded bras. Underwire doesn’t bother me and I love it. After I had my son and was done breastfeeding, I had my first ever proper bra fitting. And it was a revelation! I finally got into the right size. I have several great bras with underwire for working out. I like my girls strapped to the max when I’m weightlifting or walking/running :) And I have several bras with underwire for things like t-shirts & nicer outfits. I have a strapless bra in case I need it, but honestly, it just does not support the way I need and I’ll only wear it if I really, really want to wear a certain outfit.
I had a period-style wedding back in 2004, for which I wore a historically accurate chemise and corset. And that was actually very comfortable and very supportive. I’d almost prefer that style instead of a strapless bra if I needed it.
Hi,
I am personally a fan of bras. When wearing well fitted and the bra that is right shape for your breasts it really doesn’t feel like wearing anything at all. The biggest problem with bras is that most people wear completely wrong size in bras, even if they’ve been professionally fitted. Where I live it’s almost impossible to find correct bra size for me as most high street shops sell bras that are ridiculously bad quality and they sell push up bras that are not that good for the breasts. The world of bras and bra-fitting is actually quite fascinating one. This blog has incredible amount of information about all this:
http://www.venusianglow.com/p/bra-matrix.html
Good to know that I’m not the only one who experienced more confidence without bra. It’s so strange: like you, I’ve always been imbarassed from the idea, but now I really appreciate more to not wear them. I do it just with white blouses or t-shirts, because otherwise the girls are too much visible.
Ik draag sinds twee weken ook geen bh’s meer! Bralettes vinden is lastig, g cup en een 70 omvang. Vaak zijn de cups dan veel te klein. Maar hunkemollers seamless crop tops blijken prima te zitten! Zoveel comfortabeler! Leuk om te lezen dat jij dezelfde gevoelens over dit topic had/hebt als ik. :D
I’ve always had a bad relationship with my boobs and bras, always feeling like they were too big and bras made them look bigger. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’ve found the best fit possible for my bra and I just deal with it…. but after reading this I really want to try a bralette! I think it could be really good for my confidence. Does anyone know what a good size range for wearing a bralette would be? It could be that my breasts are just too large for a bralette anyways. Thank you so much for talking about your experience Lucy!
Unlike you I actually do have large breasts (very large, to be honest) and I embraced bralettes several years ago. I experience significantly less back pain now than I did when I was routinely wearing underwire bras (even well fitted ones). While I appreciate beautiful foundation garments both aesthetically and for creating the right silhouette under clothes, I am much more interested in my own comfort at this point in my life.
I’ve been wearing bralettes all my life, and this is one advantage of having almost non existent breasts. Normal bras are indeed very uncomfortable. Especially in spring or summer when they warm you up and make you sweat. But also because as you said they rarely fit correctly. I actually have a love/hate relationship with them. On one hand they’re uncomfortable, on the other hand they make me feel like a woman and make my breasts look bigger and rounder.
I really would love to not wear a bra or go braless, but my “problem” is kinda opposite of yours.
My boobs are so small + bad shaped (like an a-cup and weird triangle shape) + I have a quite massive heavy figure, so without a bra I look absolutely flat and weird. Aaaand it don’t look nice :( So heavy-padded bras are my hated friends for the rest of my life :(
“Without the padding, it turns out my breasts aren’t actually that big at all.”
How just wearing unpadded bras, if you feel uncomfortable with bigger breasts?
I refuse to wear padded bras anymore. Not only do I not find any of those ridiculously bolstering bras from H&M or Primark in my size anyway, I also just don’t like those moulded cups – they’re too warm, too stiff, and shape my breasts in odd ways.
However, I cannot go without an unpadded, wired bra. Yes, I have many red marks at the end of the day, but that still beats the unrelenting backache of a loose fitting bra by miles. I’d might give bralettes a try, if they just also came in proper bra sizes, and not in this S,M,L nonsense. How is this supposed to give even minimal support, if I need to size up to fit my cups, and am at the same time also forced to size up my band size, thus also preventing any support from the band?
Asos has bralettes in regular bra sizes! Even for the bigger cups or/and small bandsizes!
Lucy! Thank you so much for this post and congrats! I went completely braless this summer and succesfully haven’t worn a wired/padded bra for over three months now (with exception for a bralette for doctor appointments, when I knew I would have to undress) and it was life-changing. I definitely plan on continuing doing so, and would 100% recommend it. Especially for small-breasted gals like me – if your little ones are little enough for not needing the support, spare yourself the hussle and pain of wearing a bra, if it’s not mentally too uncomfortable :)
Hello!
Just wanted to say that I have had the same experience as you :)
But my problem is to find new bralettes that are wearable. Where do you find yours? I found a few websites that are not too expensive but I’m a bit hesitant because not all bralettes fit well.
Love,
Jess
I usually get mine at stores like H&M and Primark, and just try them on until I find one that fits :)